A Cup of Coffee

About a week before my mom died we were sitting around her bedside with the hospice nurse, going through what we believed to be the last moments of her life. Her breathing was shallow and slow, with great pauses in between breaths. The lights had been dimmed in her nursing home room, and we were praying, and watching, and waiting. Our wonderful hospice nurse had suggested we call our family, and those who could come were on their way. 

The door to the room pushed openly quietly, and a nurse whispered “Can I get anyone a cup of coffee?”

At that moment my mother  - who we thought was seconds away from dying - sat up and said “I’ll take a cup!”As you can imagine, the entire room erupted in shock and laughter. I’ll never forget that moment!

My mom loved coffee with friends. 

As a little girl I remember how often she would get together for “coffee parties” with the neighbor ladies. Mom was a part of at least one birthday club - a group of friends who just got together each month to celebrate their birthdays. She also a had a strong circle of friends she loved coffee time with, either one at a time or in small groups. Even as she aged, and moved into assisted living, it was a highlight for her to have someone in for coffee, often paired with a coffee cake or some special treat she’d made, or to go out a join a friend or two for good conversation around a cup of joe.

As a young mom it often left me shaking my head. How did she have time for it? I felt like I was always so busy - between my children’s activities, committees, boards, clubs, and of course, working full-time, I didn’t ever feel like I could stop, pour a cup of coffee, and just sit; let alone, plan ahead of time and make a special treat and invite someone to share it with me. And to be honest, I didn’t always feel like I even wanted to. My life was so full of people, and frankly, at times they wore me out. If I had the time for a cup of coffee, I would’ve rather taken it all alone I’m afraid. 

But along came covid. And retirement - the time in my life when I actually do have a little free time and a bunch of of fun friends I love visiting with over a cup of coffee (or a glass of wine). 

To be honest I have learned to really enjoy visiting with friends. I didn’t know what I was missing! 

So now, with Zoom meetings, quick trips into the grocery store with masks, and measuring my time with co-workers when I do get to stop into school (so I don't have to report possible "covid encounters"!) I honestly have to say I miss people. 

Our book club and education sorority meetings are online in Zoom, as are many of the other meetings I attend. Zoom is great - but it certainly makes it harder to have those personal and meaningful conversations. And I am becoming more and more aware of how important those face-to-face conversations are. 

As a covid vaccine appears closer and more inevitable, I pray that I will learn from the events of 2020. Not just learn to be more aware of my health, wash my hands more often, and cough into my elbow - but to learn how valuable my friends are. 

I pray that I will remember how much I value my friendships, and how much I love getting together for a cup of coffee. When this is all over, and we're ready to socially undistance, let's do it, okay? We need eachother!