Anticipation

I'm a planner. 

I love dreaming about a big trip, a new purchase, a holiday, an upcoming event. 

I suppose my husband would say that I love talking about it  - even more than actually getting into the work of preparing for it. Regardless - I find a huge amount of hope in the excitement of preparing and waiting. Planning and preparing is fun. Dreaming about the big day is exciting. 

I'm the same way with preparations for Christmas, a visit from friends, a new purchase. I just love to contemplate all that it could be. I may not make a lot of decisions or actually do anything, but it's always on my mind.

Last spring we intended to travel to Australia and New Zealand. In the previous fall I started talking to anyone who had ever traveled there. What did you see? Where did you go? What should we make sure we don't miss?

We have friends who live in Australia, and others who spent time there years ago. I borrowed books, spent hours on Google searches. I may not be the most efficient planner, but I certainly spend time on it. And eventually we had arranged our itinerary, bought our tickets, reserved our hotel rooms.

And then...covid.

But here's the interesting thing. Although we still plan to visit Australia and New Zealand as soon as we can, I look back on those days of planning and preparing and I remember the joy and the hope I felt. We didn't get to travel, but I almost feel as though we did, consumed as I was with the thought of it.

Planning. Anticipating. Dreaming about that trip or that big event gives me as much hope as actually participating in it. 

When my daughter Maria was 9 we adopted our son Joel. He was born in South Korea in May, and we knew in July that he would be joining our family soon. But we had to wait for him to arrive until everything was finalized.

So...you know now that I love the dreaming and planning. And as you can imagine, our little family began to do just that. Although we hadn't even seen Joel yet, we spent hours just talking about him, just planning for the day he would arrive, for the life we would live in our family of four.

Fast forward to late September. Joel had been in our home for about a week, and I was rocking him to sleep as Maria stood by my side. "You know Mom," she said quietly. "It was a lot more fun waiting for him than actually having him here."

Please don't judge Maria for that line. She absolutely adored (and still adores) her "baby brother". But Maria put into words how we feel as we plan and prepare and wait. 

It's hope. 

I hear a lot of people talking about the "new normal" or "when things get back to normal" after this pandemic, and I don't know when that will be or what it will be like. But I know this:

Plan. Dream. Prepare. Imagine. Daydream. 

No matter how they're experienced there are big days ahead of us. A home remodel. A move. A new birth. A celebration. Start thinking about those big days ahead of you - start preparing - start daydreaming.

Let them fill you with hope.