Birthdays

Birthdays. As children, our birthdays are some of the biggest days in our lives. And why shouldn’t they be? Besides the presents, birthdays add a year to your age, bringing with it extra privileges. Going to kindergarten. Becoming a teenager. Getting your driver’s license. Turning 21. 

But at some point in our lives birthdays aren’t as celebrated. For me that started early. My birthday usually falls on one of the last days of school. That in itself was always cause for celebration. As a teacher, those last days of the year were extremely busy. A birthday was just one more thing to think about. 

Plus, for many years I was the youngest one in our group of friends. For many years I really wanted to catch up a bit. As a newly-retired person that is still true. While at work I’m definitely the old lady, in the social groups I’m young. I listen to the ages of others and my age even sounds young.

My mother used to say that she wanted to die in her 70s. In her mind, the 70s were still considered “young”. When people died in their 70s, others say “Oh how sad. She was so young!” When people die in their 80s others say “Oh, but she lived a good life.” She had a great attitude about age. 

The best, most hopeful attitude about age came from my father-in-law. He worked every day to stay in shape, to gain muscle, to remain physically fit as he aged. When asked how he was feeling he would sometimes respond with “Well, I’m still buying green bananas.” When people said, “It’s good to see you” he would reply, “It’s good to be seen.”

But it’s so easy to begin to view aging as getting old. It sneaks up on you gradually.

One of my favorite Norah Jones songs illustrates how this happens:

One flight down
There’s a song on low
And your mind just picked up on the sound.
Now you know you’re wrong
Because it drifts like smoke
And it’s been there playing all along.
Now you know. 

You begin to change from growing older to being older. 

But think about it: growing old definitely beats the alternative. Each birthday is a celebration of a year lived. It’s a chance to look back on our year and consider the gift that time has been.

Matthew Kelly from Dynamic Catholic encourages us to “become the best version of ourselves”. It takes every day of our lives to do that - to become a little better in how we live and love every single day. And doesn’t that give us something to celebrate each year? 

It also gives us a goal for the coming year. 

A better listener. More patient. More compassionate. More loving. 

One of the best things about growing older is the opportunity and the time to contemplate the legacy your life has been so far and to to consider how to continue to shape that legacy.

And that is worth celebrating!